The Abundant Life

Audio By Carbonatix

I often joke and say that my marriage is filled with lots of mistakes on purpose so that other people can learn from me. On the flip side, I also believe I’ve been shown some great insights in my marriage which I share to help couples who want their marriages to grow. Today, I want to share something I’ve been working on in my marriage that I hope you can get in on. 

I’ve been considering lately what it means to give my wife an abundant life. Of course, I desire an abundant life too, but it cannot start with me. I believe the beginning of giving her abundant life starts with me serving and caring for her. This includes looking at life from not just my perspective, but more so from her point of view. Because something that I think would make me abundantly happy might not make her feel the same way. In fact, it might make her feel the opposite. So, in order for her to have an abundant life, I need to learn to see things through her eyes and walk like I’m living in her shoes. 

When we stop focusing on the things we want and start focusing on what matters to our spouse, we will help them grow as individuals. I imagine there may be somebody who is reading this and thinking that what I’m saying is all fine and good, but what if the feelings aren’t reciprocated? What if nobody is looking out for me, Dan? While I understand that’s a valid concern, let’s not start there. Let’s begin with simply doing what we need to do and see what the results yield. I believe in most cases, although I know there are exceptions, when people are loved and cared for, they will love and care for others. 

So, what will that entail? It will be different for everyone. One idea would be to start thinking about all of the areas of your relationship and then think of each one individually. Consider the area of communication in your marriage. How can you give your spouse a more abundant life in this area? What do you know about your spouse’s style of communication? Perhaps as men, we need to learn to share more verbally.. 

Then, think about intimacy. Not just sex, but intimacy. How can you give your wife abundance in this area? I don’t simply mean abundance in a numerical sense, but find out what intimacy looks like for your wife. Then consider what you can do to fulfill those desires and not just your own. 

In the area of faith and self-growth, figure out how you can serve your wife more abundantly. Does she have enough time to engage in activities that satisfy or encourage her personal hobbies, friendships, and faith activities? So often, a marriage and family occupy so much of each spouse’s time and energy, there is little left for personal pursuits. Think about what you can do to help your spouse live more abundantly in these areas. Can you give up something or help them with something they currently do that would give them that time for personal pursuits?

If you put into practice some of the suggestions above, you’ll have a better chance of winning more often and more abundantly at home.